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Posted: Sep 22, 2005 - 10:01 AM
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Dart
Joined: Sep 16, 2005
Posts: 885
Location: Behind You
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Basically.. it is my ambition to be a published author.. so, obviously I need to write my own original stories. It's taken me a while to get a handle on this, because I only used to write Matrix Fan-Fiction.. but I've posted this story other places and shown it to a few of my friends.. and they all seem to think it's really good. I'm guess I'm just wondering what the educated minds of a bunch of System fans will think of it. 
Anyways... tell me what you think, hope you like it.
Chapter One
Silence. That, seemingly, was her language, because she was just... sitting there, regarding him dully.
He was about to give up, to just admit defeat, to pack up the ol’ Dictaphone and go home to failure, when she spoke.
“You, like all the others, are full of questions. I wonder... would you answer those if you were me?.”
He froze, his hand half way towards his shoulder pack, and looked at her thoughtfully as he considered what she had said.
“I... I don’t know. Probably not.”
She grinned. “I thought not. Perhaps..” A considering pause. “Perhaps I could ask you something.”
Hands clasped, on the table now, he sat in considering silence, uncertain of the answer he should give.
Question Time with a Psychotic. Interesting. He thought randomly.
“Sure.” He said, impulsively.
She scooted closer to the cold, hard metal table, and looked at him with blue eyes that were surprisingly pleasant, surprisingly sane.
The eyes are the windows to the soul. Ben thought. So am I really looking into the dark, dead soul of a maniac?.
“Do you know what the worst word in the English language is, my friend?.”
“Uh... hell?.” He replied uncertainly.
“No, not hell. Hell is a rather bad synonym, as a wise teacher once said. I’ll tell you what it is for free. Alone. See, if you ask for a meaning of hell, you could get many answers, the religious, eternal hell, an example of a place considered to be hell on earth, or a personal hell. Alone is much simpler. The feeling of alone-ness or being alone is a horrid, black, feeling. No company but your own, sitting there, silence weaving its thick cloak around you, the only sounds the voices in your head and the wind screaming around the eaves of your home. Your only companions are shadows; there they are, night after night, your endless, black company. They draw their shrouds around you, coming closer, like closer, like lovers... but they bring fear and your loneliness grows, and you draw your limbs closer, hoping for warmth, the memory of comfort and a warm kiss from full lips. Darkness is an old, wise, friend, it has kept many souls company, and as one day weaves itself into another, life rolls out like eternity, never ending... so when the shadows draw closer still, their shapes becoming clear and more defined, you have no fear. They draw closer and the shroud of blackness engulfs you. Sweet, painless blackness.”
Ben said nothing. He was utterly speechless, all words and thought had been surprised out of him. He had heard much about this woman, in the news, the papers, the media vultures, wherever you were willing to glance. Many viewed her as an Insane Psychopath, who was a victim of such a warped psychosis, but that she had deserved her incarceration. The media had smelled blood, and gone for the kill. In other words, they had demonized the woman herself, and exaggerated the facts. No change there. But, now Ben fully saw the lies in what all them thought. She was intelligent, that was for sure, no one with a low IQ could describe something in such vivid colours. He found himself doubting that she was insane. A little screwy in the head, maybe, but not insane. When full coherent thought had returned, he shook his head a little, as if to clear it, and glanced at the two muscled orderlies who stood watch, probably with hypodermic needles full of fake sleep. Damn, has she got life here? He thought, sincerely hoping that she did not.
“You know.” He said finally. “I can’t really see why you’re here.”
Sarah threw back her head and laughed.
“Because... I’m insane. I’d think that was obvious.”
“You don’t seem so crazy to me.”
She smiled. “I am, I assure you. Psychotic. Delusional. I’m whacked out to the eyeballs on prescription drugs. That old friend, Lithium.” She tittered, but there wasn’t much humour in her small laughter.
He said nothing, but he was thoroughly pleased with how this was going. It was a surprise. He hadn’t expected this at all.
He glanced absently at his wristwatch, and saw, not without regret, that he had to leave.
“Sarah... listen, I’ve got to go, but... if you’re okay with it, I’d like to come back and talk to you again.”
“If you want. Just don’t lie to me, at any point. That’s all I ask.”
“Of course not.” He said, rising.
Smiling absently at the blonde-haired not-so-crazy-person as he left, he stepped out of the room, towards freedom, which she had not known for 7 years.
Damn, he thought, as he stepped out of the asylum’s exit doors, feeling the warm, comforting heat of the day, I wonder how long it’s been since she’s seen the sun?. |
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Posted: Sep 22, 2005 - 10:39 PM
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Member
Joined: Jul 31, 2005
Posts: 238
Location: Dublin, ireland
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wow....are you sure not not published???!!
well, if notyou should be !!!
well done |
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FGWB YOU'RE A LEGEND !!!
AND VOODOO DOLL IS ALSO A LEGEND!!!
my lovely lovelies: darontotallyrocks, whiskass, rain, holy_cow, miamicanes04, donteatthefish, anabelletankian, mr._jack, FGWB.....add ur name here !!! just ask me !!!
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Posted: Sep 26, 2005 - 09:20 AM
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Dart
Joined: Sep 16, 2005
Posts: 885
Location: Behind You
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Thank you!!
Come on tho, peeps.. tell me what you think! |
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(\_ /) Helping Mr. Bunny to achieve world
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Posted: Sep 28, 2005 - 10:27 AM
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Member
Joined: Jul 31, 2005
Posts: 238
Location: Dublin, ireland
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yeah come on people!!!!
(btw: i love the word fantabulous!!^^^)
take some time to read this !!!
its.....FANTABULOUS !!!!!!! |
_________________
FGWB YOU'RE A LEGEND !!!
AND VOODOO DOLL IS ALSO A LEGEND!!!
my lovely lovelies: darontotallyrocks, whiskass, rain, holy_cow, miamicanes04, donteatthefish, anabelletankian, mr._jack, FGWB.....add ur name here !!! just ask me !!!
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Posted: Oct 02, 2005 - 06:02 PM
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Ego Brain
Joined: Aug 24, 2005
Posts: 630
Location: Arizona; where everyday is a Lonely one...
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I also want to be an author, or a journalist... probably a journalist, but I really liked this. There's more to it right? If not... there should be! I salute you!  |
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V.I.P.s~ Ruby_Gloom, byob_hypnoticcomputers, Barbecue_Beef, Cozmachina, and Donteathefish!
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Posted: Oct 03, 2005 - 08:27 AM
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Dart
Joined: Sep 16, 2005
Posts: 885
Location: Behind You
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| Yeah... there's more... I've already written three chapters and am working on the foursth, I'll post the second when I have more time.. I'm in lesson atm. ^_^ |
_________________
*Official Unofficial S.O.A.D Mascot!*
Read My Story!!
(\_ /) Helping Mr. Bunny to achieve world
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Posted: Oct 03, 2005 - 09:45 AM
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Cigaro
Joined: Aug 29, 2005
Posts: 2707
Location: norway
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wow thats really good! how do you get the imagination to come up with all this?!
once again, realy good  |
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" I like plastic swords! Like the one from star wars, they just like light up!" ~ Daron
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Posted: Oct 03, 2005 - 02:08 PM
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Dart
Joined: Sep 16, 2005
Posts: 885
Location: Behind You
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Thanks.. I dunno why I have such an active imagination, I just have, lol! Anyways... here's the second chapter.. spread the word, get more people to read it..
Chapter Two
The wind, shrieking. Loneliness circling, drawing closer, like a hungry predator. These were the feelings she had, the feelings that were almost mandatory.
The shadows were prominent tonight, changing shape with every passing thought, laughing and drawing closer, tightening their endless shroud.
The end would come soon.
They would engulf her, and the painless blackness of which she had spoken would be her only level of consciousness. Sarah didn’t care, she would welcome it. She was sick of her sleep always being so fuzzy and disorientating, sick of needing yet another shot of fuck-knows-what to get her to go somewhere that was the bastard cousin of real sleep. There were no dreams, not in the true definition of dreams, just some strange half-consciousness where echoes rang out and her mind muttered and cursed in some kind of delirious English.
She hated the dark, deep down, she was afraid of it. The lost, almost extinct part of her that was still interested in Freedom, seeing the sun, breathing fresh air, sleeping a sleep of the sane, was afraid of it. That part of her did not want the black, painless shroud of Forever to engulf her. It was this part that prayed, on such a subconscious level that in her delirious state, Sarah was hardly aware of it, for Freedom.
She slept, and her sleep was almost normal, almost but not quite, and as she slept, her bringer of Chance, Ben, was burning the midnight oil, writing and thinking of her.
I met an interesting person today. Ben wrote, as he sat in thoughtful silence, as the wind howled outside, unnoticed by him. I did not expect to meet someone interesting. I expected to meet a sick woman who was crazy as a shithouse rat, with delusions and Psychotic ideas. She was intelligent, and I guess I expected that, but I had expected a sick intelligence of a twisted mind, which would use it’s knowledge to intimidate, and to seem superior. Her intelligence did not seem that way, at least to me. It seemed a perfectly ordinary, sane intelligence. She described to me, the feeling of pure loneliness. Very vivid indeed, I had goose bumps, and I felt pity, that she should have such knowledge of what it is like to truly have no one. It put my life in perspective a little, I think... I’ve been depressed for a long time, and was convinced of my utter solitude, until today. I have a lot to be grateful for, I realise now. Meeting Sarah and having her vocalise like that to me, has probably helped more than any drug I’ve been given. Speaking of which, I flushed my pills. I see no need for them, I see light breaking through the clouds now, it is not all darkness now. The shadows are retreating, by God!. Things could really turn around. I believe that. Life is worth living. Wow, I wonder how long it’s been since I’ve thought, wrote or said that and actually fuckiing meant it. Damn. I am going to see her again on Thursday... two days from now. I’ll tell her what I’ve written down here, and I shall tell her what I am going to do. I am going to get her out, into the World, I am going to damn well get her out of the Psych Ward. She shall taste Freedom.
Putting the pen down with a grimace, Ben sat up from his desk, shaking his hand a little to get full circulation, contemplating how he was going to do that. If she had life, he was screwed. There was no way he could get her out, even if he found strings to pull. Well, maybe an outing then?, just a quick trip outside, with Security present?. No, that wasn’t good enough, damn it, she deserved Freedom, maybe controlled and medicated Freedom, but still, living life as it was meant to be lived, instead of life within padded walls, was something.
Sitting there, deeply puzzled, staring down at the scrawled entry in the Journal, an idea dawned in Ben’s mind. Grinning, he began to write again. |
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Posted: Oct 05, 2005 - 08:09 AM
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Dart
Joined: Sep 16, 2005
Posts: 885
Location: Behind You
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| *Bump* |
_________________
*Official Unofficial S.O.A.D Mascot!*
Read My Story!!
(\_ /) Helping Mr. Bunny to achieve world
(O.o) domination
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Posted: Oct 05, 2005 - 08:15 PM
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Member
Joined: Jul 31, 2005
Posts: 238
Location: Dublin, ireland
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deadly! well done!!!
omg ... my name is sarah !!! |
_________________
FGWB YOU'RE A LEGEND !!!
AND VOODOO DOLL IS ALSO A LEGEND!!!
my lovely lovelies: darontotallyrocks, whiskass, rain, holy_cow, miamicanes04, donteatthefish, anabelletankian, mr._jack, FGWB.....add ur name here !!! just ask me !!!
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Posted: Oct 07, 2005 - 10:02 AM
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Dart
Joined: Sep 16, 2005
Posts: 885
Location: Behind You
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Lol... what a coincidence, eh?  |
_________________
*Official Unofficial S.O.A.D Mascot!*
Read My Story!!
(\_ /) Helping Mr. Bunny to achieve world
(O.o) domination
(> <)
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